If This Is Your First Weekend Without Your Kids, Try These 10 Things

1. Create a “What If?” Parking Lot

Grab a notebook and write down every scary thought.

• What if they need me?

• What if they have more fun there?

• What if they stop needing me?

• What if I never get used to this?

Don’t answer the questions. Just get them out of your head and onto paper. Your brain often confuses worrying with problem-solving.

2. Set Two Check-In Times

Instead of checking your phone every five minutes, choose two times during the day when you’ll look for messages or updates.

The goal isn’t to stop caring.

The goal is to stop living in a state of constant vigilance.

3. Make a “When the Wave Hits” List

Before the grief shows up, create a list of five things you’ll do when it does.

Examples:

• Walk around the block

• Call a friend

• Sit outside for 10 minutes

• Watch a favorite comedy

• Organize one small drawer

When emotions spike, decision-making gets harder. Create the plan before you need it.

4. Write a Letter You’ll Never Send

Begin with:

“What I’m most afraid of is…”

Then keep writing for ten minutes without stopping.

No editing.

No fixing.

No judging.

Just honesty.

5. Take Care of Future You

Choose one thing your future self will appreciate.

Examples:

• Prep lunches for the week

• Clean your bedroom

• Schedule a workout

• Organize paperwork

Divorce often makes life feel out of control. Small acts of self-leadership rebuild trust in yourself.

6. Borrow Calm From Your Senses

When your mind is racing, engage your body.

Notice:

• 5 things you can see

• 4 things you can touch

• 3 things you can hear

• 2 things you can smell

• 1 thing you can taste

Simple. Effective. Free.

7. Create a Temporary Ritual

Every time your children leave, make a cup of tea, light a candle, sit on the patio, take the dog for a walk—anything that signals:

“This is hard, and I know how to care for myself through it.”

Rituals help the nervous system adapt to change.

8. Make a List Called “Still Mine”

Divorce can make it feel like everything has changed.

Write down:

• My values

• My friendships

• My faith

• My humor

• My strength

• My love for my children

Loss is real, but not everything has been lost.

9. Plan One Tiny Thing to Look Forward To

Not a vacation.

Not a complete reinvention.

Just one thing.

A brunch.

A movie.

A bookstore visit.

A walk with a friend.

Your brain needs evidence that life still contains pleasure.

10. End the Day With One Truth

Before bed, finish this sentence:

“Today was hard, and…”

Examples:

• Today was hard, and I got through it.

• Today was hard, and my kids are okay.

• Today was hard, and I didn’t have to be perfect.

• Today was hard, and tomorrow is a new day.

Because resilience isn’t pretending you’re fine.

It’s learning that you can survive emotions you never wanted to feel.

The takeaway:

“I can miss my children, feel scared, and still be capable of caring for myself.

The musings, views, and opinions are solely based on the the author's professional & personal experiences, and not intended to be generalized to every specific situation. Kimberly McNary is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist located in San Diego, CA and the Founder of The Classy Girls’ Guide to Divorce™️. Kimberly has worked with couples, families & individuals for almost two decades, while raising her own family, helping clients navigate their most important relationships with self and others. You can find Kimberly McNary here.